From the moment we moved in he’s been awful to me, but I never knew why.
My roommate Ryan has been hiding something under that strong and firm exterior. On the outside he acts like a jock and a jerk, but on the inside the secret desires he harbors are more than I could have possibly imagined.
Because when Ryan looks at my slight and delicate body he doesn’t see his masculine roommate. When he looks at me he sees something that I’m not now, but could be for him.
What started as a deal became so much more. The desires of my body caught up in his needs and the pleasures of the moment. I’m giving in to him and giving in to this. I’m losing myself and finding someone new.
I’m becoming his sissy.
Excerpt
I should be shaking with anger. Here he was admitting that everything he had done for me he’d done out of some misguided crush.
I shouldn’t be agreeing to any of this. I was straight and I was not feminine and dressing up and playing out his fantasy shouldn’t be agreeable to me.
I should be storming out of this room and finding another place to stay. I should be putting as much space between him and me as I possibly could and finding a way to get past this whole thing.
But I’m not.
Instead, I’m letting him make me up and play with my hair and I’m watching with awe the skill and finely tuned work as he steps to it. I’m noticing the hard lines of his face and the rigid and unrelenting give of his body and I’m marveling at how a man that’s so handsome could possibly find a person like me interesting and engaging. Instead of being angry I’m flattered, and I’m hoping that I can be the person he needs me to be.
And just like that, it became about something more than getting through tonight. Just like that, the objective became something other than getting my life back.
Just like that, it became about being the girl he needs me to be.
Ryan stepped back from me and got a smile on his face, his eyes flickered up and down me and it was clearly evident that he was admiring his work.
“Okay,” he said a bit shyly, “You’re ready to go. Umm if you want to get dressed and such and I’ll… I’ll turn around to give you privacy.”
Ryan did just what he promised, walking over to his side of the room and turning to face the wall to give me the privacy that I needed to get dressed. I grabbed the clothing and brought it over to my side of the room, laying out each piece of it one by one and looking at them.
They weren’t cheap. Each and every garment seemed to have been selected with quality and care. They all matched perfectly and it was perfectly obvious that a lot of thought had gone into this.
And as I undressed I kept stealing glances at the man across the room, the man who was so different than the man that I had imagined he was. Not for lack of clues on his part. It was a bit like a mystery movie, where after the criminal has been revealed you start to piece together all of the evidence and clues that pointed out who he was all along.
Because the evidence was there and clear, even with as well as he tried to hide it. It was in the effort he took not to look at me. The way that he pointedly didn’t ever look at me or talk to me unless I caught him off guard.
Which only ever seemed to happen while I was changing.
Only when I was changing would he be completely unable to help himself. Only then would I see him catching glimpses of me, glancing at me from behind eyes that could only be interpreted with a single intention: the eyes of desire and need.
That was the truth of it. The truth was that Ryan needed me in his life and needed me around him. He needed me to be this for him.
Even if only for a single night.