Pulled aside and pulled on stage. Singled out by the band I walk towards them. He looks at me and I feel his magnetic energy. I feel him draw me forward.
I’ve followed this band since back in college. I watched from the sidelines as their fame grew to epic proportions, as they became a household name. I’ve always felt a connection to them, to him, but it’s always only been one-sided.
He pulls me into him here in front of everyone. He dances with me and he sings to me and me alone. And when the concert ends and the lights go out I feel his hand close on mine and pull me off the stage.
This concert was small and intimate and the only restriction for attendance was that you had to be a woman. So I did what I had to do. I changed myself with the help of science. I became what I had to be to get into this position.
Pulled into his tour bus out back and it’s just the two of us. There is a quiet moment and he confesses that he feels something with me. He feels a connection and I think it’s true but even if it isn’t does it really matter?
I want this to happen. I need it to happen.
Excerpt
I stepped into him, swallowing hard and turning my face up to him.
I did this out of pure and unrestrained impulse. I did it because it felt right.
I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, all of the concerns that I’d had to this point just kind of fell by the wayside as I felt him, felt his presence looming in front of me.
I kissed him, pushing my lips into his and pressing them quickly against him. He stiffened against my movement, his hand shaking a bit as it paused and then clenched tight on mine.
Just as I was about to pull back he wound tight as a bowstring and pulled me forward into him, his hand releasing my hand for only a moment before his arms closed around my body and pulled me in close.
Words were gone now, they were unnecessary. Actions took over as my lips parted to let his tongue slip forward and play against my own.
Yes, I was a man. Yes, I’d never felt this before today. Yes, I didn’t intend for any of this to happen.
But I couldn’t say that I didn’t want it.
There was a part of me that loved the feel of this man on me. That loved the way that he made me feel soft and delicate and feminine.
It felt right, in so many ways, to give myself over to this moment and this person. To let him take the lead as I gave myself into him.
Johnny made me feel perfect. His eyes and his affections on me made me feel complete.
When he touched me my body exploded with desire. When he pressed into me he made me want to give him back double and more.
I was breathless when we broke for air, struggling and gasping and heaving with it. My teeth bit my bottom lip as I pressed and kneaded my hands against his firm chest. His hands stayed on the small of my back but I found myself aching for him to feel more of me, to feel me in the fullness of his desire.
To explore every inch of me.
“I didn’t mean this,” he said quietly, “But I want it.”
I smiled shyly and buried my head in his chest and spoke a truth that I honestly don’t think I’d understood up until right now, “I want it too. I think I’ve wanted it since that first night I saw you.”
And as I spoke my hands were playing with his body, pressing and tracing their way down and down his muscular torso. They brushed against his belt and I pulled them back as if burned, but when I looked up at him I saw only understanding and acknowledgment.
Johnny was willing to take this as slowly as I needed.
Fuck taking it slow. Fuck holding back. Fuck giving up on chances and opportunities because they were scary.
In a heartbeat, I made my choice and made my decision. I knew what my future would hold.
Wordlessly I dropped to my knees and my fingers worked quickly at his belt.