They asked me to take her place on the big day, but I didn’t know how far it would all go.
When the bride and groom pulled me aside the day before their wedding I knew it was going to be something big. When they told me that her work was insisting that she be halfway around the globe at the time she was supposed to say ‘I do’ I figured they were going to cancel everything.
When I have to say ‘I do’ all I need is to look into his eyes and the words come so easy. When I say them, up there in front of everyone, I know that it’s not a lie.
They asked me to take her place, and I agreed. I agreed but I didn’t know that it would awaken something in me. I didn’t realize that it would make me look at my best friend in a whole new light, seeing him as a man and me as a woman.
Maybe it was all so inevitable. Maybe it was all meant to be, because it really feels like that now. Because when we have our first kiss, when we have our first dance, when we have all those quiet little moments on that very special day I feel like they’re meant to be.
And all that is left is the night. In the end, it’s the two of us alone in the honeymoon suite, both of us knowing what we want. Both of us knowing what we need.
I want to be her. I need to feel him.
Excerpt
“I’m fine, Colton,” I reassured him, “Never better. It’s been a perfect day, right?”
My tone was searching and my eyes were searching him. I wanted him to tell me it was perfect. I wanted him to tell me it was better than he could have hoped for. I wanted him to tell me it was all alright and I wanted him to kiss me again, to feel those lips on mine and to feel that electric shock of pleasure reverberate through my being. My hands fiddled nervously with themselves, grasping and pulling and tugging as I stood before him waiting for his response.
“It’s been fantastic,” he said, “Better than I could have imagined. Did you have a good day Hanna?”
It shouldn’t matter, that he called me by her name. That shouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to me but I can’t deny that it did. It was probably just him being safe, calling me by her name just in case it turned out that we weren’t alone and some guest walked around the corner, but I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted it to be everything.
And it was dumb, doing what I did next. Stepping up into him with my intentions clear as I locked eyes with the man and darted forward so quick, pressing my lips against his eager and sudden and searching to see whether that feeling, that spark of need, would return on a second kiss.
It was there in an instant, rushing through me like a lightning strike. It made my body resonate and it made me press for more there in his hands, parting my lips as he pulled me into him and moaning slightly as his tongue slipped forward into my mouth.
His hands were on my hips, on my waist and he was holding me to him. It was a pose not much different from the figure we’d cut on the dais as we had our first kiss but this one went further, pushing the boundaries moment by moment. His hands grasping onto me tighter and with a far headier need. His tongue searching against mine and showing me some of the strength that he possessed and was willing to share with me. My breath caught in my chest and my heartbeat pounding out so hard as I slipped my hands from kneading against his chest to wrapping up around the back of his arm and pulling him down into me.
I stumbled backward but he held me, bending my back while he pulled me against him and my whole being was suffused with the contrast of the two of us. Him as a hard and strongly fearsome man. Me as a willowy and graceful woman.
And there were no witnesses to this kiss. There was no way that we could lie to ourselves, playing it off as anything but our own natural desires and needs come to the forefront.
I knew what this kiss meant to me, that it meant everything. That it was confirmation of my own feelings and a statement of hope that they would be shared by him.
The question was what did this kiss mean for him? Was it an indication of more or just his natural reaction to his wife throwing herself at him? Was it a chance for us, the real us, or was it just the dream of a single night when I could play at being her?
I remembered the note she’d left me, the statement at the end after she’d given me all the instructions and all the information I’d needed. How Hanna had implored me to make this day special for him and the implication that I was to take her role. Surely that meant everything that came with being a blushing bride, right?
It was one night, in all likelihood. It was one night and when she returned from her work halfway around the globe she’d slip back into her life and I would slip away. It was one night and maybe it was all going far too far and maybe it would end things between Colton and me, maybe we’d never be able to go back to how things used to be, back to the life we used to live.
But we hadn’t been living in that life for a long time and I could think of worse ways to say goodbye than this.
When our lips broke apart I was breathless and I felt him pull me up, felt his hands let me go a little once he was sure I was standing on my own two feet. We pulled away just the slightest bit but my hands only reached the top of his chest before they slipped up quick, holding both sides of his face and making him look at me.
“We could make today perfect,” I told him, and I didn’t need to tell him how.
I’m sure we were missed. I’m sure people noticed we were gone. But no one caught us and no one stopped us as we slipped outside and flagged down a cab, sliding into the backseat and giving him the address of our hotel with our honeymoon suite ready and waiting for us.