Just because he struck out, doesn’t mean I have to.
My husband was the one who came up with the idea of the hall pass. We would each write a list of beautiful people, celebrities, that we could spend a guilt free night with. I never had any intention of trying, not until he struck out.
And now this handsome actor is standing in my home, ready to give me the night of my life. My husband is seething, sad and angry at what’s about to happen. But even he knows that it’s all his fault.
He approached that poor actress and told her about the deal. She was so polite as she shot him down. Now he gets to watch the very opposite happen with me.
I’m going out with this man, I’m going to give him the night of his life. I’m going to go out without regrets, because my husband brought this on himself.
But the longer I spend in the presence of a man like this, the more the contrasts between him and my husband become obvious. And the farther we get from home the more I have to ask myself.
If I can do this, if I can have a man like this, why would I ever settle for my husband again?
Excerpt
“This is your fault,” I say, matter of fact, “Think back, Howard. Who came up with the idea? Who planted the seed? It wasn’t me.”
“I know but-“ he starts but I cut him off with a sharp glance.
“No,” I snap, “No buts. That’s cutting things short. There are no excuses for this and you know it, in your heart of hearts you do. I didn’t choose to make this deal. I didn’t want a hall pass. I didn’t even fill out half my list.
“But you did, didn’t you? You practically laminated it and kept it in your fucking wallet and you made me swear up and down that it was okay. You took every last step to make this happen, not me.”
And my Howard, ever the simple man, still tries to argue his point, “I never really thought we would go through with it.”
I laugh, a short and sharp bark of a laugh that is cruel and mocking, “You didn’t? Well, my mistake then. So when you embarrassed me to no end by walking up to your crush right in front of me and shooting my shot, you didn’t think that it would ever happen? You asked a woman out right in front of me. A celebrity. An actress. A beautiful and strong woman who didn’t deserve to be put in that fucking position and who didn’t deserve to have to even deign a fucking answer to you and yet she humored you and gave you a polite answer of No, she was flattered but not interested.”
I was staring at him and he wasn’t meeting my eye, but he couldn’t deny any of this because it was all true. Within a month of marriage Howard had gotten fixated on the idea of a hall pass, a list of celebrities and people that we could sleep with, were we given the chance. Some stupid idea that he’d gotten into his head and then insisted on so fully that I gave in, eventually, a concession that I figured would sustain him in fantasy but one that he’d never actually try his luck with.
But a week ago he did just that. He approached his number three actually thinking that just because he was handsome and charming he could make it work. He humiliated me in front of her, pointing me out and obviously telling her that I was fine with it and I saw the look on that poor woman’s face, such pity in her eyes as she politely let him down.
“Just because you stuck out,” I sneered once more, my anger quite real, “Doesn’t mean I have to.”