It happened gradually, pushing through the boundaries one by one. First going out as her. Then flirting as her. Becoming her more and more until there was only one thing left.
I wanted to find the right guy for my first time and I found it closer to home then I could have ever possibly imagined. Right there in my building, handsome and built. I wanted to know him. I wanted to need him, in every possible way.
But I was scared. I’d been her in secret but never in reality. I’d taken chances and steps with her, but I’d never gone all the way. I’d never crossed that final line, never let any of the men I’d been with see the real me.
I was her again, that night like so many nights before. I was her and out at that bar and I saw him sitting all by himself and I took a chance. I asked him to buy me a drink. I asked him to take me home.
And now we’re here and he’s so close. He’s so close to knowing that secret hiding beneath my dress. He’s so close to seeing the real me.
It’s terrifying, but it feels so right.
I want to give him all of me for the very first time.
Excerpt
I kissed him. Hot and deep and passionate. I kissed him and I felt him come to life on me, his lips pressing against mine as his hands went to my hips and then to the small of my back to pull me into him.
And he was so big and so strong. He was so overpoweringly massive and I felt tiny and feminine in his arms. More feminine than I had ever felt before.
I felt like myself for the first time, truly for the first time. I felt complete in a way that I had never felt before, and my body responded to him as he responded to me and when he pulled back from me I ached for him with a power that threatened to consume me.
And then he spoke and everything froze.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m just really nervous. I’ve never done this before.”
The words gave me pause, gave me question. How was it possible that this man who was holding me, this man who was the man of my dreams could have never found someone that would… Could have gone this long without…
“You’re a virgin?” I asked.
“No,” he said softly, “But I’ve never been with a woman before.”
My eyes widened a bit and he quickly stumbled through a clarification.
“I’m gay,” he said, “Or at least I thought I was gay but with you- There is just something I can’t put my finger on. I know it’s crazy to put this out here but I just feel drawn to you, like I can’t ignore it or resist it. I’ve never been attracted to a woman before, but I guess there is always an exception and-”
I cut him off by taking his hand in mine. The touch of skin on skin silenced him and with a smile I slipped it under the hem of my dress and pressed it up between my thighs.
I felt his hand on me, the first time I’d ever had a hand of another man on my cock. I was hard and the feel of it was unmistakable, there was no way that he could have any doubts.
And his eyes went wide with understanding, and I saw his eyes flick up and down my body as he fought to reconcile the truth of his eyes with the truth of his touch.
“Surprise,” I told him with a sheepish smile, and when I felt his hand close and lightly squeeze my cock I knew that he was pleasantly excited by his discovery.
“Baby,” I cooed to him, “I’m starting to think we just might be made for each other.”
There were no more words then. He kissed me and I kissed him, his tongue pressing past my lips as his hands pulled me into his arms and into his body and when my feet left the ground there was a rush of butterflies in my stomach but not a moment of doubt or concern.
Because I was with my man, and I was safe in his arms.
Zack carried me to his bedroom, his lips playing against mine time and again with an urgent hunger. He held me close to him and my palms and fingers kneaded those firm muscles that I’d been dreaming about for so long. And when he laid me down on his bed I realized the dynamic had shifted entirely.
Up until now, I’d been confident and I’d been dominant. I’d approached him for a drink. I’d been the one to tell him to take me home. I’d kissed him first and pressed his hand between my legs.
But knowing my truth his whole demeanor had changed. He had lifted me into his arms and carried me into his bedroom and he was in charge now.
Which was just as well because I didn’t have a clue what the hell I was doing. I was sweet and innocent and so far out of my depth, but I trusted him to do right by me.