The reflection in the mirror isn’t me. It’s soft and gentle. It’s supple and beautiful. My reflection is a woman, and I am anything but.
Life has a way of beating me down, but I think it might have finally broken me. Humiliated and kicked out of college I am on the long drive home when my car careens off a cliff and tumbles into the water far below. I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this one.
I’ve become her, a beautiful woman. I’ve become everything that I ever thought I wanted, but I didn’t want it like this. I wanted her. I didn’t want to be her. But the dark stranger outside the door doesn’t know any of this.
Somehow I dragged myself out of the water and stumbled my way through the woods to his cabin. I wrapped myself up in dry clothes and laid myself in front of the fire to wake up with him staring me in the eyes. A hard and handsome stranger. A real man who only saw me for what I seemed to be.
I can’t deny this body wants him. His tall and imposing nature, his satisfying bulk. He’s big in all the ways I’m not, strong in all the ways I lack. He is a man and right now I’m a woman and it should be so simple to fill in the blanks from there.
To go to him in the night when the cold chill of the air demands his warmth. To give myself to him and feel what it’s like to be a woman in every single way. To know if the strength I feel from him can be felt in full with this body.
To beg my dark stranger to test my limits. To ask him to show me what a woman truly needs.
Excerpt
It could have been minutes or it could have been hours, but finally my trembling next to him stirred him to say something.
“I could sleep on the couch still,” he said, “I’m fine with it.”
“No, I prefer it here. It’s nice to know that someone is close by. It feels safer.”
And it did. The man had a presence that made me feel secure, as if I knew that nothing bad could happen when I was standing next to him. As if I knew that he would leap in front of danger to save me.
“Are you sure? You seem… Honestly, you seem scared. You’re shaking.”
“I’m just cold,” I lied, “Not used to the cold here.”
I felt a shift in the covers and his hand closed over mine. My hands were clasped over my chest so in doing just that his hand brushed the fabric of the shirt over my nipples and drew another sharp gasp out of me as I felt a shock of pleasure rush through me and made my legs clench together.
“You are cold,” he said, “Jesus I’m sorry. I forget not everyone is adjusted to the temperature here like I am. I could grab another few blankets or throw more wood on the fire to try to heat this place up.”
“No, you’re warm,” I turned to him, rolling on my side to face him and pulling over until our bodies were nearly touching, “You’re very warm. Maybe I can use you… for heat I mean.”
Without waiting for an answer I pressed in closer. In the darkness I couldn’t see anything but the shape of him, the shape of his bulk as he loomed over me. I pressed in close and pushed my hands against his chest, feeling the solid muscle there and moving in closer.
My stomach against his stomach. My knees against his thighs. My legs tangling into his as I drew closer to him in the darkness.
Closer and closer still.
“Little lady,” he said cautiously as my hips rolled forward and felt it for the first time, the feel of it unmistakable.
It had been a long time for him, quite clearly. I could feel just how long and just how hard it had been for him, being alone all this time.
When his hands touched my shoulders it was a touch of caution, but I didn’t take it like that. The light moan that escaped my lips knew only how good it felt to have his hands on my body, wishing that they were everywhere at once.
“I’m just cold,” I told him, “But you can warm me up.”
“Little lady,” he cautioned me once more.
“Please,” I begged him, looking into his eyes, “Warm me up.”
I kissed him quick and eager, pressing my lips up to meet his while I felt my heart pounding in my chest. So much relied on this moment, because while I knew his body wanted me I didn’t know if his mind would stop him.
He saw me as a little lady, someone to be protected and not defiled. Seeing myself through his eyes I knew the appeal of that point of view. I wanted to be his little lady. I wanted this bear of a man to protect me from all of the world except for him.
I tried to pour all of that into my kiss, feeling my heart pound for it and feeling my body tremble. His hands tightened their grip on my shoulders and he pulled me back and away, both of us breathing so heavy.