The door slams locked behind me. The wind whips my towel away. I’m fully bared, stranded on my roof. Everyone can see everything.
Today was supposed to be perfect, I’d spent so much time planning it. But everything that could go wrong went wrong and more. My oldest friend, finally back in my life, is going to be meeting me in a few minutes and when he gets here he’s going to find more of me than he could have ever expected.
The wind whipping around up here should chill my skin but instead I’m running hot. Just the thought of all those people around me, of how much they could see if they looked out their windows, has me gasping with need.
He’s going to be here any minute and I need him to rescue me, but if he comes up here there is nowhere for me to hide. Soon not just my neighbors but him, my handsome and hunky friend, are going to see every bit of me.
When he does, what will he want from me? When he sees me like this will he be able to help himself? When he saves me what reward will he ask for?
And how far will I be willing to go?
Excerpt
And oh god it would be good. It would be so damn good.
So damn good to be taken by him, not just by him but to have everyone watching me. Watching me like I’d never been watched before. Witnessing the real me. The me that was unleashed.
By the time I realized what I was doing I’d been breathing heavily for god knows how long. My whole body was shaking not just with the cold but with the feeling of all those eyes on me and those strong hands taking me and making me his.
It was craziness. Absolute insanity driving me to this point. It was far beyond the realm of what was right and into a realm far beyond that. Into a realm where I was doing things that no sensible person should do.
It wasn’t me.
I was the good girl. The friend who wouldn’t stray too far. The girl who blushed when all the guys went skinny dipping and walked away with her tail tucked between her legs because she was too much of a coward, because she wanted to avoid the mocking stairs and the knowledge that she was surrounded by guys who didn’t want her like they wanted other girls.
I’d been embarrassed about my body because on some level I always knew that it wouldn’t appeal to men like that. To men like that firefighter who talk about things like childbearing hips and to men like James who like their women quiet and soft and delicate.
And so I guess I’d internalized all of that a little too much. I wore sweat pants and a baggy shirt to the gym. I didn’t own a bikini. None of my dresses had short hems or plunging necklines.
I liked my clothes baggy and my body covered, except apparently when pressed into circumstances beyond my control maybe I didn’t like that quite as much as I thought I did.
Because I couldn’t deny the feelings welling up in me. That potent screaming shouting for attention. That need within me, that demanded that I give in and stretch out, that I let everyone see everything.
But that wasn’t me and I knew it. So still I held back.
The shadows of the people in their windows were a potent reminder of how precarious my situation was. Each passing moment the gusts of wind on my bare skin made me shudder but that shaking kept on afterwards until it was all that I was. Until goddammit there was nothing else.
I couldn’t think my way out of this. I couldn’t press open the door or swing down to my apartment below. I couldn’t do anything, not even move, as I struggled to find my center in the midst of my overwhelming need.
From somewhere far away I heard the sound of my phone ringing, my particular ringtone unmistakable. Keeping low I moved to the edge of the roof and as I did it got louder until I was certain of it.
James was here.