He was the worst kind of man, the kind of man I thought I’d left behind. He was a heartbreaker and a player, the kind of man who saw a girl in a relationship as a challenge instead of a stop sign. He was the worst kind of man and he had his sights set on me.
When we fell on hard times we had no choice but to rely on him. My husband and I moved from our sweet little home into the guest house on his stunning estate and from the first day we moved in my husband had a warning for me: stay away from Xavier.
Xavier was rich and he was handsome. Xavier was successful and he was driven. Xavier was my husband’s best friend and a man my husband had tried to keep me away from for so long.
Because Xavier was the type of man who saw a new opportunity as a means to prove himself, the sort of man who believed that he had the right to take what he wanted. Whether business or pleasure, if he set his sights on you then you would become his.
From day one I could tell he was already plotting how to get me in his bed. He was dreaming and scheming and it was all just a matter of time. He wanted me and he would have me, the only question was how long it would take.
Because with each passing moment in his kingdom I know I’m losing my grip. With each new moment between us, I know I want more. He’s promising to satisfy me and I’ve been so good for so long.
Maybe it’s time to try being bad instead.
Excerpt
Lenny, what had you done? What had my husband done to me? How had my husband lied to me? How could he?
It felt like it was so beyond him but then even just the fact that he was at the track gambling felt like it was beyond him. That wasn’t like him and yet I had the proof right there in front of me, so maybe that meant something else.
Maybe it meant that I didn’t know Lenny at all. Maybe it meant that he’d been lying to me and I’d been lying to myself. Maybe I’d just been hurt and all I wanted was to hurt him back, whatever the reason I didn’t need any more excuses.
Why did I do it? I did it because I was hurting and I wanted to strike out at something. I’d been backpedaling for so long that even the merest idea of moving forward, even if it was in a direction I’d never considered before, felt like progress.
Because when I stared at Xavier, it wasn’t Xavier I saw at all. It was my husband with that fear in his eyes, that momentary panic when I first brought up his friend and the reason, the true reason, behind it. That he’d been hiding so much from me, everything that Xavier had told me and maybe more, and that I felt so impotent that of course I wanted to do something about it.
But most of all I did it because the moments just before had felt almost normal. Because this world had started to feel normal to me. Because I’d fallen into the comfort of this life, of this estate, and when I looked up today and saw Xavier standing there hard and handsome and looking at me like he wanted to own me it gave me a thrill.
Xavier had been looking at me like that since the first time he saw me, dressed down and dressed like the girl next door but he’d been looking at me like I was a sexual being. He’d looked at me like I was a woman.
And I couldn’t remember the last time Lenny had looked at me like that.
I was barely even thinking as I pressed across the space between us and practically threw myself at him. All I knew was that it was almost instantaneous and my hands were pressed up against his body, my lips pressed against his. I was eager, no doubt about it, shaking with fear and anticipation and fighting against every instinct in my body that told me this was wrong as I pushed forward faster than I was used to, pressing my tongue past his lips to play inside of him and taste the memory of this man who was not my husband.
It was wrong. It was so goddamn wrong to kiss him. It was wrong on possibly every level and I knew it but nothing was going to stop me because, putting morality and all other quandaries that come with it aside for a moment, I couldn’t deny one absolute truth.
It felt so goddamn good.